Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize