Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize