My brain says no but my pants say off.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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