i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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