You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
