youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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