He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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