If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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