shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize