I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
