There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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