Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
This is my gift to your gina
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
