I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ATM looks so different sober.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I lost the right to judge tonight
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize