cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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