didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
