we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
