The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
