you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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