...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
