She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize