It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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