found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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