If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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