But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
