sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
