i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize