you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
