new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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