It's Friday. Sex?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
