It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
