'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
