I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
