Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
