it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Sex in the backyard? Check.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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