SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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