he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize