he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
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All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
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I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
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