She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.