hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Vodka?
Forever.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
