So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize