exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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