you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
