In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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