I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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