i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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