ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
