Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
