I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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