i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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