So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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