remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
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I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
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I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
please don't ironically join a cult
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