ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
