My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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