I cockslap morals
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
