The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
