I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize