he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize