So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
