READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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